


Ihop time babey

by lasagnabastard



Category: Deadpool - Fandom, Spider-Man - Fandom, Spider-Man PS4 - Fandom, spideypool - Fandom
Genre: Been playing Spider-Man ps4 a lot, Decided he needs a Wade, M/M, Oneshot, so yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 02:40:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21206093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasagnabastard/pseuds/lasagnabastard
Summary: The dorks go to ihop at 3am.





	Ihop time babey

“Spider-Man has been seen around the city with the MERCENARY Deadpool. If you didn’t believe me about Spider-Man’s criminal inclinations before, you’ve got IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE right here, folks. It’s only a matter of time before he starts killing people outright!” 

“Why are you up so late, old man? I think it’s messing with your brain cells,” Peter laughed as J. Jonah Jameson’s show went to commercial and he switched his suit’s headphones to some music instead. His suit’s phone rang, him picking up and letting the person on the other line have the first word. 

“Spidey! So glad that you picked up! You wanna grab some food in a few? I’ve been dying to see you,” Deadpool said, his voice lowering at the last sentence, unknowingly making Peter’s heart rate speed up. 

“I haven’t seen any crime in almost an hour, why not? Where do you wanna meet?” Peter asked, trying to not sound desperate. 

“How’s the ihop on 14th sound? It’s almost 3am so there shouldn’t be much for people eating in there.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be there in a few.” Peter hung up and started making his way to the the ihop.

“Really?” Peter sighed, “Ugh, why is this song so inescapable?” 

Peter eventually caved and was belting the lyrics to Sucker by The Jonas Brothers as he swang to 14th Avenue. 

“Anyone else see NYCWallCrawler swinging around singing Jonas Brothers?? Or am I hallucinating again?” 

Peter landed gracefully on the rooftop of the ihop, walking to the edge and looking around for Deadpool. 

“Looking for someone?” A chipper sounding voice said from beside Peter. 

Peter whipped his head to the side, only to be greeted by the familiar red and black of Deadpool’s mask. He rolled his eyes and smiled under his own mask, turning away again and using a lamppost to swing to the ground. He heard Deadpool hit the ground behind him, looking back and seeing him sprawled out on the ground. 

“I meant to do that!”

“Sure you did, bud.” Peter held his hand out for Deadpool, to help him up. Deadpool grabbed the hand, purposefully pulling himself up way too close to Peter. Peter guessed that he would’ve been able to feel Deadpool’s breath on his face, were they not both wearing masks. 

“We should go inside,” Peter said, clearing his throat rather loudly. 

“Whatever you say, Spidey,” Deadpool said with an amount of admiration in his voice that made butterflies swarm Peter’s stomach. 

“Table for two?” The waitress asked quizzically. 

“What? You’ve never seen a superhero hanging out with a mercenary?” Deadpool joked. 

“A booth would be great,” Peter answered the waitress, elbowing Deadpool in the side. 

Deadpool laughed and followed Peter and the waitress to their booth. He sat down across from Peter, watching Peter as he ordered a drink. 

“And for you?” The waitress asked, turning to Deadpool. 

“I’ll have one chocolate milk and so help me God if you give me a tiny kiddie cup, I’ll-”

“One chocolate milk for him!” Peter interjected, kicking Deadpool in the shin under the table. 

The waitress walked away, possibly faster than normal, disappearing into the kitchen area. 

“So, was there something specific you wanted to talk to me about or did you just want to get some food but didn’t want to eat alone?” 

“Okay, first of all, ouch. Second of all, I didn’t feel that we were at booty call level with our relationship, so this is the next best thing.” Deadpool warned another kick in the shin from Peter. 

“This isn’t a “relationship,” this is a casual friendship, if even that. I honestly don’t know how I tolerate you.”

“Oh c’mon, you love me.” 

“Chocolate milk,” Peter muttered. 

“Huh?” Deadpool questioned, getting his answer as a glass (normal, non-kiddie sized) of chocolate milk was placed on the table in front of him. A straw was placed next to the glass, Deadpool immediately picking it up and carefully peeling one end off, twisting the other, and aiming for Peter. 

The straw wrapper bounced off of the lense of Peter’s mask, him jumping in surprise. Wade laughed as Peter glared at him from behind the mask. 

“Have we decided on what to get to eat?” The waitress, who both men had forgotten was still there, asked. The two of them ordered and the waitress walked away again. 

“Hey, lemme show you something.” Wade made a grab for Peter’s straw, getting it before Peter could move it out of reach. 

Wade pulled one end off, scrunching the rest up towards the opposite end. Once he got it tight enough, he slid it off the straw and set it on the table, putting the straw into Peter’s drink and getting some of it into the straw. He pulled the straw out of the cup and released the drink onto the scrunched up wrapper, the wrapper wiggling as it soaked up the liquid and expanded. 

“Cool,” Peter said, unenthused. 

“C’mon! That’s the coolest shit!” Wade protested. 

Wade spent the remaining time until their food arrived to tell Peter just how cool the straw wrapper worm trick was and why Peter should’ve been more impressed. 

“Pancakes? It’s 3am!”

“They taste good,” Peter deadpanned, not looking up from his plate. 

“You basic bitch.”

Peter smiled as he shoved a bite of pancake into his mouth. He truly did enjoy Wade’s company, and he cherished every second they spent together, but there was always the voice in his head telling him that Wade was a bad guy and that they shouldn’t be hanging out. He shook his head and looked back up at Wade, who had his mask pulled up just past his nose and was shoveling his food into his mouth at inhuman speeds. 

The two didn’t talk much while they ate, too busy scarfing down their food to get an intelligible word out. After they finished their food, Peter paid, and they left the restaurant. “You probably wanna go home, don’t you?” Wade asked sheepishly, his usual confidence nowhere to be seen. 

“Yeah, in fact, I do.” Peter stepped closer to Wade. So close, in fact, that he was sure he would’ve been able to feel Wade’s breath, we’re they not both wearing masks. “I’ve been in this suit for close to sixteen hours and I’d quite like to get out of it. Well, see you later,” Peter said as he began to swing away, knowing exactly what he had just done to Wade. 

Given him a taste of his own medicine.

**Author's Note:**

> The straw wrapper worm trick is in fact the coolest shit, and is guaranteed to get you dates.


End file.
